I know many of you are following the story of the devastating news we received about our unborn baby… I am working through writing out what has taken place. See the previous blog post for the beginning and more of the details are on the page “Baby’s Story” (see link at the top of the blog)… I will work on getting posts put together in a more orderly and easy-to-read format… for now I’m just pouring out my words because I don’t want to forget any of our baby’s story or how God is unfolding it… Thank you so much for sharing in this journey with us. We covet your prayers.
Calm Before the Storm
“Let Your steadfast Love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.”
God is so faithful to give you what you need – many times even before you need it…. And once again, He was proving His dependability right at the start of our trial.
As soon as closest friends and family members learned of our news, we knew they were in prayer, and we quickly began receiving Scripture references they wanted to share with our tender hearts.
Again and again, I would be given a verse by a friend – and it would be the same verse I’d been led to by the Lord earlier that day… or the same verse another friend had also given to me.
I started writing all these down in my journal, and decided to also jot them down on notecards to read over and over – taking captive the thoughts of my heart and making them bend and mold to God’s Sacred Word.
And as He promised, His calm began to wash over me.
Still, the next morning, as Jeff and I sat in the OBGYN’s room, waiting for him to come with news, I fidgeted nervously. The previous day, I was convinced he would walk in and tell us our baby had never developed a brain and would not live. What I desperately WANTED him to say was “I’m sorry, but I’m 99% sure your baby has Downs Syndrome.” I would have lept off the table and hugged his neck for that one… but I knew that wasn’t going to happen. I continued to pray for God’s mercy as we waited.
As it turned out, we’d have to wait even longer for answers. Our OBGYN had only been sent the report from the ultrasound tech – not even the scans for him to look at himself. Compassionately, he expressed his concern, but left the decision completely up to us whether we wanted to move forward with further testing. We decided to go ahead with a panorama bloodwork, and also a visit to a maternal-fetal medicine specialist in Houston.
Very quickly, Maria, my Dr.’s phone nurse was hugging my neck and telling me we would hear from Houston very soon for an appointment and I was whisked away for a blood draw.
Finally leaving our OB’s office, I felt a real sense of peace and – for the first time since this nightmare began – hope. The one thing that I had pleaded with God for up to that morning was that we would be given some hope. And even though we didn’t have answers, I had a kind of peace and hope that can only come from God suspending your heart up in His hand.
We left the parking garage and Jeff treated me to my favorite Baskin Robbins ice cream and within an hour the specialist in Houston called and scheduled me for Tuesday afternoon, July 30th.
The entire weekend I was blessed with peace. So many were praying for us and we could certainly feel it. I was praying through Scripture and the Psalms were a healing balm for me. And I also began to feel the baby move more than ever before.
One of the verses God have to me that I clung to as Tuesday approached was from II Chronicles chapter 20…
“Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed… for the battle is not yours, but God’s.”
This I repeated to myself every time I felt the anxiety begin to well up within me, and Tuesday was upon us before we knew it.